What to watch: April 8th to 14th

There’s so much television to choose from, but what are the highlights to catch this week?This is TV Talk’s glance at what the small screen has to offer.

Get your game show on

Five Minutes to a Fortune | Photo: Channel 4

Davina McCall has perfected her game show presenting skills on The Million Pound Drop Live. She’s able to seamlessly go from sympathy to excitement. Her latest game show is Five Minutes to a Fortune where contestants need to complete five challenges in five minutes. At the same time an hourglass filled with cash starts to drain away.

The series starts on Monday, April 8th and is on every weekday afternoon on Channel 4 at 5pm.

A new series of Catchphrase started on ITV | Photo: ITV

Fans of game shows might like to know that ITV have resurrected Catchphrase. The show is very similar to when Roy Walker presented it, including it’s retro-looking set, but there’s no Roy Walker. Stephen Mulhern doesn’t have the same charm, but guessing the catchphrases is enjoyable. Perfect viewing for 6.45pm on a Sunday on ITV.

Fancy a cuppa?

Victoria Wood travels the globe to find out why the humble cup of tea is so popular in BBC One documentary Victoria Wood’s Nice Cup of Tea.

This two part programme, on Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm, sounds very quaint but as a nation we do love tea. As well as discovering the origins of the drink Victoria Wood also chats to actor Matt Smith about the Time Lord’s love of tea.

Doctor Who

The Doctor and Clara are off an another adventure | Photo: BBC

Speaking of The Doctor, his show is also back on this weekend. Admittedly it isn’t really one to forget, although the BBC have started to play with the time it starts. This Saturday it’s on at 6pm on BBC One and sees The Doctor and Clara landing on a damaged Russian submarine. Not only is the submarine spiralling out of control but an alien creature is on the loose.

Don’t miss

Great shows from Channel 4 this week | Photo: Channel 4

Channel 4 comedy shows The Mimic and Anna & Katy finish this week. They’ve been great series, so watch them on 4OD before they go. Catch the final episodes on Channel 4 at Wednesday 10pm for The Mimic and 10.35pm for Anna & Katy.

Finally Channel 4 return to their Big Fat Gypsy series on Sunday, April 14th at 9pm. My Big Fat Gypsy Fortune will reveal how the Gypsy and Traveller communities manage to afford their lavish weddings.

Celebrity tours of Britain

Bank Holiday television is nearly always rubbish. In amongst it there is some decent programming, this Easter weekend has seen the return of Doctor Who and a Jonathan Creek special, but it’s largely rubbish.

It’s almost like daytime television, but even they get the Bank Holidays off. There’s no Loose Women or This Morning. Instead it’s repeats of programmes that you don’t really remember watching the first time round. This is how I stumbled across the bland offering of Cornwall with Caroline Quentin on ITV.

Cornwall with Caroline Quentin | Photo: ITV/TwoFour

The actress is our tour guide through Cornwall, visiting some of the most picturesque parts of the county, recounting the history and meeting the locals. Admittedly Cornwall is very pretty in the show and Quentin is nothing but an interesting presenter. However, you find yourself asking why she is telling us about Cornwall. And it’s all the places everyone has visited because nearly everybody has visited Cornwall at least once.

The next programme on ITV is Ade in Britain. Actor Ade Edmondson is more ambitious than Quentin as he is touring of Britain. In this particular episode he is walking round Wales. Again Wales is pretty, Edmondson can walk and talk to a camera but why is this on television?

Glancing at the schedule I notice that the very same style of programme is on again on ITV this Bank Holiday Monday. James Nesbitt is exploring Ireland in James Nesbitt’s Ireland. At least this one makes a bit sense as Nesbitt is Irish.

Making these television programmes must have been fun, filming for a few days in beautiful tourist areas showcasing why people like to visit these pretty places. Although sometimes you might have to walk up a bit of a steep hill to get a better view. However, watching them is dull. The presenters are all a bit too enthusiastic yet have nothing to add as they aren’t knowledgeable about the area.

Instead the shows feel like quaint, background television. You can turn away, make a cup of tea and look back and there will still be a pretty view. Seeing as most of the shows are visiting places that people will have visited they also serve as nice reminders of previous holidays, or maybe even a gentle nudge that you should be outside this Easter and not watching the television.

I have another suggestion though, maybe these actors should be in interesting dramas and comedies this Bank Holiday instead.

Bafta television nominations for 2012 announced

Appropriate Adult, ITV’s crime drama about the killer Fred West, leads the nominations at this year’s British Academy Television Awards.

The ITV drama has four nominations which are in the leading actor category for Dominic West, leading actress for Emily Watson, supporting actress for Monica Dolan as well as a nomination for mini series.

Sherlock, Twenty Twelve, Scott and Bailey and The Great British Bake Off are among other nominations that have been announced.

The awards will be presented at Royal Festival Hall on May 27th, by Dara O’Briain who is also a nominee for his performances on Mock the Week.

Below are the Bafta television nominations in full.



Leading actor
Benedict Cumberbatch – Sherlock
Dominic West – Appropriate Adult
John Simm – Exile
Joseph Gilgun – This is England ’88


Supporting actor
Andrew Scott – Sherlock
Joseph Mawle – Birdsong
Martin Freeman – Sherlock
Stephen Rea – The Shadowline

Male Performance in a comedy programme
Brendan O’Carroll – Mrs Brown’s Boys
Darren Boyd – Spy
Hugh Bonneville – Twenty Twelve
Tom Hollander – Rev.

Entertainment performance
Alan Carr – Alan Carr Chatty Man
Dara O’Briain – Mock the Week
Graham Norton – The Graham Norton Show
Harry Hill – Harry Hill’s TV Burp

Mini series
Appropriate Adult
The Crimson Petal and the White
This is England ’88
Top Boy

Soap and continuing drama
Coronation Street
Eastenders
Holby City
Shameless

Factual series
The Choir: Military Wives
Educating Essex
Our War
Protecting our children

Single documentary
9/11: The day that changed the world
The fight of their lives
Terry Pratchett: Choosing to die
We need to talk about Dad

Reality and constructed factual
An Idiot Abroad
Don’t Tell The Bride
Made in Chelsea
The Young Apprentice

News coverage
BBC News at Ten: Siege of Homs
Channel 4 News: Japan earthquake
ITV News at Ten: Battle of Misrata
Sky News: Libya rebel convoy

New media
Autumn Watch
The Bank Job
Misfits
Psychoville

Comedy programme
Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe
Comic Strip: The Hunt for Tony Blair
The Cricklewood Greats
Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle


Leading actress
Emily Watson – Appropriate Adult
Nadine Marshall – Random
Ramola Garai – The Crimson Petal
Vicky McClure – This is England ’88


Supporting actress
Anna Chancellor – The Hour
Maggie Smith – Downton Abbey
Miranda Hart – Call the Midwife
Monica Dolan – Appropriate Adult

Female performance in a comedy programme
Jennifer Saunders – Absolutely Fabulous
Olivia Colman – Twenty Twelve
Ruth Jones – Stella
Tamsin Greig – Friday Night Dinner

Single drama
Holy Flying Circus
Page Eight
Random
Stolen

Drama series
The Fades
Misfits
Scott and Bailey
Spooks

International
Borgen
The Killing
Modern Family
The Slap

Specialist factual
British Masters
Frozen Planet
Mummifying Alan
Wonders of the Universe

Feature
DIY SOS: The Big Build
Hairy Bikers’ Meals on Wheels
The Great British Bake Off
Timothy Spall: Somewhere at Sea

Current affairs
Bahrain: Shouting in the Dark
Sri Lanka’s Killing Fields
The Truth About Adoption
Undercover Care: The Abuse Exposed

Sport and live event
Frankenstein’s Wedding: Live in Leeds
The Royal Wedding
Rugby World Cup Final
Tour De France 2011

Entertainment programme
Celebrity Juice
Derren Brown: The Experiments
Harry Hill’s TV Burp
Michael McIntyre’ Christmas Comedy Roadshow

Situation comedy
Fresh Meat
Mrs Brown’s Boys
Friday Night Dinner
Rev.


What do you think about the nominations? Has your favourite programme been missed out, or are you happy that your favourite show has been given a Bafta television nomination? Let us know what you think.

All I want for Christmas is lots of television

As we are only seven weeks away from Christmas Day it is time to speculate about what will be on our television screens for the big day and look at some of the highlights so far.

The BBC has the usual big players with the Strictly Come Dancing special, Doctor Who  and a Top Gear special which this year is in India, according to Jeremy Clarkson.

ITV so far has been keeping most of its Christmas plans as secret as Santa’s naughty and nice list. All that is known so far is there will be a Christmas episode of Downton Abbey.

However, there are a few surprises slipped away in our seasonal stocking. Channel 4 will be showing what Gypsy King, and Big Brother winner, Paddy and his family do at Christmas and of course some snowy weddings take place as well.

There is the usual fill of cookery and craft programmes with Jamie’s Christmas, River Cottage Christmas and Gordon’s Christmas Cook-a-long Live just on Channel 4 alone, with Kirstie Allsopp’s Handmade Britain series, which is on at the moment, culminating with two Christmas themed specials.

The BBC’s big drama adaptations include a three-part special of Great Expectations and The Borrowers, with Stephen Fry, Victoria Wood and Christopher Eccleston. Whilst ITV has Lawrence Fox in the depressing sounding Christmas drama Fast Freddie, The Widow and Me, which follows a car salesman who is found guilty of drink driving. Channel 4 has a yuletide edition of This is England 88.

And Christmas would not be complete with a good laugh, the Beeb has a Christmas edition of most of its big comedy series such as QI, Rev, Mock the Week and Outnumbered. But making another return is Absolutely Fabulous with a Christmas and New Year’s Day special.

Channel 4 has the, now well established, Big Fat Quiz of the Year hosted by Jimmy Carr, Chris Moyle’s Christmas Quiz as well as a Christmas and New Year edition of Alan Carr’s Chattyman.

However, my highlight will be the Aardman special. No Wallace and Gromit this year but there will be a 30 minute Christmas Eve special of Timmy Time.

Loose Women are back…

Yay! The Loose women are back from their holidays and back on our screens. I’ve been looking forward to their return ever since they said goodbye for their one month sabbatical so I was ready at 12:30pm on Monday to welcome them back with open arms.

But it quickly became obvious something had changed. The theme music was different. And the logo. Not dramatically so but different nonetheless.

Then the set roved into view. I’d been wondering what colour it’d be this time, as they usually have a little change over the summer, most of the same décor in a new hue.

But this was more than a little change. In fact a terrible accident seemed to have befallen the set. Evidently during the break it had been stored unadvisedly close to a paint factory, which had suffered an explosion in the pastels section, irreversibly staining the Loose Women backdrop in wild blotches of pink, powder blue and lilac.

Someone has manfully tried to cover it all up with some white glass stuff cut into shapes they assume women will appreciate. Sadly it’s all too twee and stereotypical ‘girlie girl’- handbags, lipstick and butterfly patterns…excuse me… *mini-sick*. These aren’t things that represent our strong, opinionated, sophisticated Loose Ladies…are they?!

Carol, Lisa, Denise and Sherrie

Luckily the set isn’t the main draw and the Loose Women are still on form, albeit looking somewhat embarrassed at having to warn every guest to ‘mind themselves on the plexiglass’ as they come on, prompting John Barrowman to pretend he’d poked himself in the eye with the corner of a glass handbag.

The desk has also changed and is a peculiar shape, tapering at the front into a point which also looks a bit hazardous.

The whole programme has the impression of one which has been altered in tiny, fairly insignificant ways, just for the sake of changing it. It looks new but the content is identical. Different yet ultimately exactly the same.

Presumably these things are supposed to push up the viewing figures, which were said to be flagging last year. They go hand in hand with the sacking of poor Kate Thornton and Zoe Tyler and the introduction of Carol Vorderperson as the new anchor.

All the changes (including Carol V…although she’s not doing too badly to be fair) are irritating and pointless. For the real fans like me the silly set and loss of old presenters is a shame and spoils it just a little bit. As for anyone else they were hoping to attract, I doubt it will be different enough to tempt them if they weren’t keen before.

So all this effort has been a waste and jobs lost for nothing. Poor Kate Thornton.

Gino the Gentleman Juggler

After my initial scepticism about ITV’s Let’s Do Lunch with Gino and Mel I have to reluctantly admit that whilst it’s not original (and I still miss Loose Women) it is certainly entertaining. And some of the food looks damn good too.

Now though, cheeky TV chef Gino D’Acampo has discovered that as well as wooing host Melanie Sykes and all the women in the audience by being a culinary master he has another talent he never knew about before.

For Gino turns out to be an astounding Gentleman Juggler.

And no this isn’t something naughty invented by the man himself, it is in fact a man who juggles all different types of objects and performs other acts of amazing dexterity. A bit like a magician doing tricks, only these are real.

On ‘Challenge Gino’ along came the incredible Mat Ricardo, himself a Gentleman Juggler of 25 years. He demonstrated the famous ‘tablecloth trick’- you know, the one where you whip the tablecloth off a laden table without disturbing the crockery. Only this guy is so skilled he can then put the tablecloth back on again, still leaving everything in place.

Mat Ricardo explained how he’s spent ten years mastering this ‘trick’ (the putting-it-back-on part) and that as far as he knew he was the only person in the world who could do it. He challenged Gino to have a go.

A nervous but excited Gino threw himself into it and yanked the tablecloth off as quickly as he could. And surprisingly he did it perfectly. Impressive enough. But that wasn’t the main trick.

We all waited with baited breath while Gino positioned the table cloth, then WHAM he went for it.

Expecting crockery to go flying, it was then, something of an anti-climax when to everyone’s astonishment, not least his own, Gino once again did it…perfectly!

It was a magical moment, yet I could only feel a bit sorry for the professional who had taken ten years learning the trick being matched by a laddish Italian chef in 60 seconds.

Will Gino’s talents know no bounds? Take a look at his amazing feat for yourself:

http://www.itv.com/letsdolunch/challenges/tablecloth-challenge/

Let’s do lunch…

So Emma might be missing her daily Loose Women fixture but currently I am enjoying its summer replacement Let’s Do Lunch… with Gino and Mel.

On the face of it is just another daytime cookery programme with a celebrity guest promoting whatever they are doing at the moment.

However, Italian chef Gino D’Acampo brings a cheekiness that makes it instantly watchable. For instance he started Wednesday’s show by discussing how he was intimidated by bush which led to the audience stifling giggles.

He was in fact talking about his fear of eating stinging nettles for one feature of the show where Gino was challenged by the World Champion stinging nettle eater.

These hilarious accidental slips from what is expected from daytime television do not happen every once in a while you know it is only five minutes until there is another incident where Gino might, because of his accent, mispronounces sheet as shit and peas as piss.

If this was any other chef, for example Gordon Ramsey or Jamie Oliver, it would be disregarded as smut but because it is Gino his looks and his supposed naivety when it comes to understanding the English language make him adorable to the predominantly female audience.

Although I have seen him on Keith Lemon’s Celebrity Juice and he definitely does keep himself clean for his role on This Morning.

It is all left to Mel Sykes to make the programme understandable for when everything does go too bizarre and the show needs someone to make it normal or for someone to talk to the camera when Gino gets distracted flirting with someone in the audience.

There is one thing that is slightly off putting for a lunch time show – Gino is challenged to break a world challenge. Today it was to eat an onion in under 43 seconds in order to break the World Guinness record. And safe to say after watching three people attempt to eat raw onion I will not be eating my lunch with Gino and Mel just right now…

Is anyone going to show me the funny? Coz I’m not getting it yet…

Well what a disappointment this turned out to be. Perhaps the name was supposed to be ironic (sadly I don’t think so) but there was very little ‘funny’ to be had here.

It was only a matter of time before a talent show style competition based on comedy appeared on our screens, singing, dancing, variety and magic all having been ticked off the list already.

And so here came ITV’s  Show me the Funny to fill the void. Hosted by the very amusing Jason Manford the show pits 10 wannabe comedians against each other to win £100,000, a DVD deal and a tour through a series of stand-up and non-stand-up challenges.

The stand-up challenges are fine. The others are not.

Last episode saw the group unaccountably joining the Scots Guards, being forced to join in with their army drills and training exercises, lugging logs uphill and standing in line getting yelled at for not pressing their shirts properly. After a few days of this, the comedians would each perform a 5 minute routine for their new comrades and then be judged by an expert panel, including comedian Alan Davies.

Apparently the reasoning behind all these extra challenges (because it wasn’t just filler, obviously) was that the comedians would be able to use their experiences in their stand-up material and this would make it relevant to each audience.

Well, ok, but the simple fact is that the 30 minutes the comedians spent playing soldiers was not funny. There was no attempt at humour, save for one smug contestant’s ‘wheeze’ of cutting a hole in his trousers to reveal his bare bum which went down like a lead balloon. It was plain boring.

When the comics finally took to the stage to perform we were in for yet another disappointment, as so much time had been taken up with pointless filler that there was not enough time to see the routines in their entirety.

Instead we were shown a couple of minutes of the best and worst performances and even less of the others. A helpful voiceover told us how each contestant went down with the audience instead of letting us see for ourselves.

It was enough to identify the good from the bad, however. A geeky looking Welshman named Dan was witty and wordy and talked very humorously about his experience of falling over whilst log-carrying, although he lost the army lads at the use of the word ‘perambulation’.

Conversely, we watched another man crash and burn, relating an incomprehensible story about someone arriving on his doorstep looking for a woman named Maria. I’ve still no idea what he was on about.

Unsurprisingly this contestant got given the boot but by this point did I care? Not really.

As a comedy addict this should have been right up my street, but it wasn’t. What it was was a completely wasted opportunity and an hour of my life that I won’t get back. And that isn’t funny at all…

Penn and Teller create spell binding television

Only on Penn and Teller: Fool us will you see a large bespectacled American firing a nail gun into his little friend’s face and not getting into any kind of trouble for it.  Nor will you see the aforementioned American (Penn) encasing the aforementioned friend (Teller)’s head in concrete and whacking it with a stick, anywhere else.

This is probably just as well, since Penn and Teller are highly skilled professional magicians meaning no Tellers were actually hurt in the making of the show.

On the contrary, the amusing pair and presenter, comedian Jonathan Ross ensure that the programme is light-hearted, fun and that everyone’s happy.

As a person who regresses to childhood at a decent magic trick and an impressive card shuffle, I was excited when I heard about ITV’s magical new Saturday evening offering. The concept of trying to ‘fool Penn and Teller’, concerned me very slightly though.

This game-show element and the prize of a trip to Las Vegas if they manage to pull off a trick Penn and Teller don’t know, made me think that all sorts of amateurs would enter for their moment of fame and a possible free holiday. I worried we’d be in for some cringey patter and clumsy sleight of hand.

I was wrong. If these people did apply, they must have been quickly eliminated by the producers, leaving only the best and most original to compete. These guys (and a couple of girls) are good. Seriously good. Unlike shows such as the X Factor, this programme doesn’t revel in bad performances and mocking the poor sods who think they’re great. These magicians have without fail been outstanding.

We’ve had card tricks, amazing predictions, illusions such as floating boxes and mind-reading. When you think you’ve seen it all, something else comes along to stun you. Only a handful of them have ‘fooled’ Penn and Teller but they sure as hell fooled me!

I think Penn and Teller is a brilliant addition to Saturday evening TV. As a huge fan of dance-based shows such as Strictly Come Dancing and someone who can tolerate a bit of X Factor (although in this case I do find the lunatics in the audition stages more fun) I’m not complaining at the number of singing and dancing programmes that have dominated our screens of a Saturday. However, it’s always nice to see something a bit different and Penn and Teller provides us with just that.

For some time magic has not been considered cool, little helped by some of the idiotic stunts attempted by the likes of David Blaine in the name of magic. Now, at last, here are Penn and Teller putting that right, changing the face of modern magic and putting the ‘cool’ back into ‘magicool’.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Behind the Magic

ITV was pretty quick off the mark with this one. Just one day after the much-anticipated Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2 hit cinemas nationwide, ITV treats us to an hour long special delving behind-the-scenes of the film, sharing all the insider gossip and glimpses of how it was made.

A cheery Ben Shepherd fronts the show, racing enthusiastically from the set of the destroyed Great Hall where he learns about crafting rocks out of polystyrene, to the makeup room to have a bloody wound emblazoned on his face and then on to interview the young leads, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint, as well as some of the other characters.

This special is a lot of fun. It doesn’t, as ITV lead us to believe, share a great deal of secrets or film content with us, but then that would be a bit daft, since most viewers probably haven’t have seen the movie yet and don’t want it spoilt.  It served its purpose, though, making me even more excited about seeing Deathly Hallows 2 than I was before.

It also flagged up three important things I had not previously realised:

1 :  I HATE the three stars, especially Emma Watson. Not only has she stolen my name, but she has no right to be so pretty. And they’ve all turned out so nice, down-to-earth and self-deprecating, normal even. After ten years as child actors they should be checking into at least their third spell in rehab by now. It’s not natural…

2: Helena Bonham Carter owns a mobile phone and sends text messages. She also displays many other signs of being human.

3: Since when did Neville become fit?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: Behind the Magic can now be found on ITVPlayer.