Tag Archives: Eurovision

The best and the worst of Eurovision 2012

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Spain and Greece can breathe a sigh of relief as this year’s Eurovision song contest is over. There were some entertaining performances on the night in Baku, but sadly not from the UK as poor old Engelbert Humperdinck came away with only 12 points putting him second from last.

But now that the confetti has been swept up this gives us a chance to look at the winners from the night, as well as some of the more questionable performances.

The top five Eurovision song contest performances are:

1. Sweden

The Swedish version of Claudia Winkleman, actually called Loreen, had an angst ridden performance with dance moves reminiscent of Kate Bush. It became quite obvious once the results started coming in that she was going to win, and ended up collecting 372 points overall.

2. Russia

The Russian grannies singing about how their dog and cat made them happy should have won, but they came pretty close in second place. It seems Europe is not all that impressed with a revolving oven. Shame on them.

3. Serbia

Serbia’s entry from Zeljko Joksimovic was a bit boring, especially as they performed straight after Jedward but seemed to go done well with the public.

4. Azerbaijan

As host country Azerbaijan did well with Sabina Babayeva who did have a very pretty dress for her Eurovision performance.

5. Albania

I was surprised that Albania’s entry Rona Nishliu did so well, as I was mostly distracted by the fact that her hair was glued to her chest. The song wasn’t really that spectacular either, as ‘Suus’ mostly consisted of high, warbling screams.

And now moving swiftly onto the weirdest performances from Eurovision 2012.

Ireland

The Irish twins John and Edward ended up in 19th place with their song ‘Waterline’, which surprised me as I thought they would do really well this year. However, I don’t think their low position will upset Jedward too much and I bet will probably be back next year.

Romania

Mandinga seemed a bit confused as to what happens in Romania as they had someone who looks like Gok Wan moonwalking and playing the bagpipes, and that was just one band member.

Denmark

Solunua Somay looked a bit like an X Factor contestant that is trying too hard. Ironic really when her song was ’Should’ve Known Better’.

Lithuania

Lithuania’s entry Donny Montell took his song ‘Love is Blind’ too literally as he performed half of his song with a sparkly blindfold on.

Turkey

Can Bonomo looked a bit like they came from the imagination of Sacha Baron Cohen. They also had capes which they could have used in a menacing way, instead they used them to make a boat.

So until next year, that is Eurovision finished with, you can still catch the first and second semi finals on iPlayer, along with the grand final.

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How to watch Eurovision 2012

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The 57th annual Eurovision contest starts tonight in Baku, Azerbaijan and from the semi-finals earlier in the week we can already see the kind of quality performances we will have in store tonight.

It will be an odd show as a lot of countries taking part might not want the burden, and the cost, of hosting the Eurovision song contest, which is the prize if you win the contest. Even Spain’s entry, Pastora Soler, joked that she has been told not to win the contest. And it could be argued that Ireland are putting Jedward up again knowing that they will lose, but the Irish twins came eighth last year and I am hoping will do well again.

Britain has put forward the crooner Engelbert Humperdinck, and to support him you need to wear a paper bow tie and Humperdinck style sideburns from the BBC’s Eurovision party pack. You can also print of ‘Get behind the Hump’ and ‘Think Dinck’ posters to really get yourself in the mood.

There are a few performances to look out for, such as Jedward’s use of a water feature, the Russian grannies and there are some ‘serious’ contenders from Romania and Sweden. You can check out all of tonight’s competitors on Eurovision’s Youtube channel or wait until you can join Graham Norton and his Eurovision commentary on BBC One from 8pm.

If you want something a bit different then Dimblebot who helped to make the local election results interesting has allowed Woganbot out of the cupboard. Woganbot is here to “protect any ladies from swooning from the ‘Humperdinck lunge’” and you can follow his commentary on Twitter. If you are watching Eurovision alone and want some company then watch and take part in Tim, Matt and Tom’s Eurovision Hangout which starts at 7.30pm. Also if you want to score the entry’s yourself based on the rules of Robot Wars, giving people marks for style, control, aggression and damage, then Jonathan Cresswell has created a score card for just that.

If you want to avoid Eurovision altogether then have a look at our Eurovision free what to watch guide.

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Second Eurovision semi final: what you missed

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In preparation for the main singing event the entries have been whittled down by two semi finals. The first semi final saw that Jedward got through to the final as well as the Russian grannies.

On Thursday night another ten countries qualified:

Lithuania
Bosnia and Herzegovnia
Serbia
Ukraine
Sweden
FYR Macedonia
Norway
Estonia
Malta
Turkey

But what acts performed at the second semi finals that unfortunately will never be seen again.

Georgia

Anri Jokhadze and his sexy backing dancers didn’t manage to get through to the final with the song ‘I’m a Joker’. In the video the women kept writing on goldfish bowls, only for them to get smashed later on probably because Jokhadze is a joker.

The Netherlands

Joan, with her song ‘You and Me’, also failed which was quite sad because Joan had a nice mixture of good song while she was dressed up in a Native American headdress. Clearly too normal for Eurovision.

Belarus

Litesound looked a bit like the Belarus version of ’90s boyband A1, I mean Litesound even had curtain haircuts.

Slovenia

Slovenia’s entry for the Eurovision possible didn’t get past the semi-finals because Eva Boto had a funny hat. I mean Royal Wedding funny hat standards.

So the second semi final was not as funny as the first, but hopefully on Saturday we shall have a mostly European smorgasbord of weird performances and costumes. If you want to watch the semi-finals beforehand then semi-final one and two are both up on BBC iPlayer.

My Eurovision Nightmare

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Eurovision is something that divides the nation. Charlotte for example is firmly on Team Eurovision – she will most probably watch the competition while dressed in clogs and lederhosen and eating schnitzel. I on the other hand will be avoiding it like the plague, more likely trying to find some proper comedy on the gem that is Dave.

I’ve gone down the route of watching Eurovision before (I wasn’t always such a Scrooge) but it left me feeling puzzled and cross. The seemingly endless scoring simultaneously bored and angered me with the political voting and blonde women waving at Terry Wogan and struggling to communicate via out-of-sync video links.

The niggling question ‘why are countries not in Europe in EUROvision?’ bugs me, as does the realisation that the main Eurovision competition we get shown on Saturday night comprises only the best acts. The idea that there were lesser quality entries is something I cannot get my head round. If these are the créme de la créme of our continent’s singers then God help us all.

Seeing the crazy outfits, hearing the caterwauling and the nonsensical lyrics isn’t something I find funny, just bizarre. One or two might be amusing, 18 at a time, less so. Too many acts are scantily clad beauties clearly not chosen for their vocal abilities and these don’t float my boat either.  And much as I love a bit of tractor gangster party rap (don’t we all?!) it makes me very happy that British music isn’t like that.

But then you see Scooch offering Sir nuts and a pregnant Jordan in a pink PVC catsuit and realise what Eurovision reduces us to.

Scooch, flying the flag...apparently

My personal highlight was when Finnish band Lordi took took first place dressed as monsters, showing definitively that it’s not singing that wins you the competition but gimmicks. If you like gimmicks then fine, enjoy, but if you have even the faintest appreciation of music then it’s not for you. The likes of Bill Bailey and Tim Minchin have shown us how to blend comedy with good music and let’s just say it didn’t end up anything like Eurovision.

The slightly terrifying Lordi

This year the BBC’s desperately tried to make it ‘edgy’ by unveiling Scott Mills and Sara Cox as hosts.  Maybe this is a step in the right direction. But on further consideration perhaps not. This year we are expected to support ‘Team Hump’, coming to us live from that popular European destination Azerbaijan. Sounds promising…

First Eurovision semi finals: what you missed

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The first of Eurovision semi finals have happened, and thankfully Jedward and the elderly Russian grannies are through to Saturday’s show.

Eighteen countries were competing for just ten places. Here are all the countries that have gone through to the main show.


Russia
Moldova
Iceland
Hungary
Denmark

Cyprus
Albania
Greece
Romania
Ireland
So this means what you see on Saturday night has already been put through a filter, which again I add that Jedward managed to get past. Sadly this means there are some songs that will never go through the humiliation of Eurovision, so here are some of the songs that will be missed on the night.

San Marino

‘The Social Network Song’ by Valentina Monetta was a silly homage, or perhaps a cautionary tale, about what you can get up to on the internet. This would have been a fun entry for the night, but instead you will have to watch it below and make up your own scathing comments.

Montenegro

The song ‘Euro Neuro’ was impressive purely because they had found so many rhyming words ending in ‘tic’ to include in the song. The words included; cosmetic, poetic, hermetic and there were many more. The singer of the Montenegrin entry, Rambo Amadeus, is apparently a cult figure for his satirical songs and has distanced himself from ‘radio friendly’ songs, so it is good that he got this far really.

Israel

When listening to Israel’s entry, ‘Time’ by Izabo, you might be forgiven for not realising that it is a Eurovision song because it sounds quite normal, maybe even catchy. And then you see the video where they are performing in a big top circus and are surrounded by clowns.

Austria

Trackshittaz sadly failed to get to the finals with their song ‘Woki Mit Deim Popo’. I have no idea what the song was about, but apparently it was a great example of the band’s unique genre of music “tractor gangster party rap”.

The second semi final is on BBC Three tonight at 8pm, and in the meantime you can watch the first semi final on BBC iPlayer.

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