Television treats for this week

When having a look over the TV schedule for new programmes starting this week I’m going to be honest and say it looks a bit disappointing. There’s a few ongoing shows like Scott and Bailey (ITV1 on Wednesday) and Masterchef (BBC One on Thursday) but nothing really new.

So this week’s picks are a bit of a mixed bag. If there is any television show that we’ve missed out then let us know in the comments below.

Broadchurch

David Tennant and Olivia Colman star in Broadchurch. | Photo: ITV

We’re nearing the end of Broadchurch, and growing closer to finding out who killed Danny Latimer. The finger of suspicion has pointed at almost every one who lives in the village, but by building the tension instead it made the series feel a bit dragged out. However, there has been some fantastic acting from the whole cast, in particular Olivia Colman.

Watch the penultimate episode on ITV1, Monday at 9pm. Catch up with the rest of the series online using ITV Player.

8 Out of 10 Cats Does Countdown

8 out of 10 cats play Countdown. | Photo: Channel 4

8 Out of 10 Cats takeover of Countdown originally happened as part of Channel 4′s Mash Up evening. Now there’s a series which started last week. Again we saw poor Jon Richardson, who loves winning Countdown, had to sit through his fellow comedians bumbling their way through the letters and the numbers game show.

This week on Friday, Channel 4 at 9pm Jimmy Carr will continue to host while Jon Richardson will be joined by actor, Stephen Mangan and they will be competing against Lee Mack and Richard Osman, from Pointless.

Doctor Who

Doctor Who continues this weekend. | Photo: BBC One

Doctor Who continues this weekend on BBC One, Saturday at 6.45pm. The Doctor and Clara arrive at a haunted mansion where a spirit called the Witch of the Well turns out to be more than they expect.

What to watch: April 8th to 14th

There’s so much television to choose from, but what are the highlights to catch this week?This is TV Talk’s glance at what the small screen has to offer.

Get your game show on

Five Minutes to a Fortune | Photo: Channel 4

Davina McCall has perfected her game show presenting skills on The Million Pound Drop Live. She’s able to seamlessly go from sympathy to excitement. Her latest game show is Five Minutes to a Fortune where contestants need to complete five challenges in five minutes. At the same time an hourglass filled with cash starts to drain away.

The series starts on Monday, April 8th and is on every weekday afternoon on Channel 4 at 5pm.

A new series of Catchphrase started on ITV | Photo: ITV

Fans of game shows might like to know that ITV have resurrected Catchphrase. The show is very similar to when Roy Walker presented it, including it’s retro-looking set, but there’s no Roy Walker. Stephen Mulhern doesn’t have the same charm, but guessing the catchphrases is enjoyable. Perfect viewing for 6.45pm on a Sunday on ITV.

Fancy a cuppa?

Victoria Wood travels the globe to find out why the humble cup of tea is so popular in BBC One documentary Victoria Wood’s Nice Cup of Tea.

This two part programme, on Wednesday and Thursday at 9pm, sounds very quaint but as a nation we do love tea. As well as discovering the origins of the drink Victoria Wood also chats to actor Matt Smith about the Time Lord’s love of tea.

Doctor Who

The Doctor and Clara are off an another adventure | Photo: BBC

Speaking of The Doctor, his show is also back on this weekend. Admittedly it isn’t really one to forget, although the BBC have started to play with the time it starts. This Saturday it’s on at 6pm on BBC One and sees The Doctor and Clara landing on a damaged Russian submarine. Not only is the submarine spiralling out of control but an alien creature is on the loose.

Don’t miss

Great shows from Channel 4 this week | Photo: Channel 4

Channel 4 comedy shows The Mimic and Anna & Katy finish this week. They’ve been great series, so watch them on 4OD before they go. Catch the final episodes on Channel 4 at Wednesday 10pm for The Mimic and 10.35pm for Anna & Katy.

Finally Channel 4 return to their Big Fat Gypsy series on Sunday, April 14th at 9pm. My Big Fat Gypsy Fortune will reveal how the Gypsy and Traveller communities manage to afford their lavish weddings.

How to avoid the football this summer

Euro 2012 starts tonight with a match between Poland and Greece. While thousands may enjoy watching grown men kick a ball around for the next few weeks, others might not like it that sport invited itself onto our screens removing television programmes from the schedule without asking. So here are a selection of TV shows that are on despite the summer of sports.

Alan Carr’s Summertime Specstacular

Alan Carr is hosting a two-hour television extravaganza on Friday night with celebrities and bands taking part in games and sketches on the show. The guests include: David Walliams, The Saturdays, the cast of Made in Chelsea and Justin Bieber who seemed to be confused by his meeting with Alan Carr but enjoyed it nonetheless.

It sounds as though the show is like Carr’s chat show, Chattyman, and will feature a mix of celeb chat, Carr’s humour as well as plying the guests with alcohol.

Friday 8th June, 9pm on Channel 4.

Britain in a Day

Back in November 2011 a range of British people filmed what happened on one ordinary day in their lives. In total 750 hours of video were submitted, which included 11,526 clips via YouTube. This footage was then edited to a 90-minute film which sees families having breakfast, what life is like in a detention centre and even a marriage proposal.

After the film has been on BBC Two then a website will be launched to get where people can see the full film submissions online here.

Monday 11th June, 9pm on BBC Two.

A Short History of Everything Else

Griff Rhys Jones hosts a new comedy panel show providing alternative perspectives on our past. Rhys Jones is also joined by team captains Marcus Brigstocke and Charlie Baker who, along with guests, will be trying to prove that they remember more than the other team does.

Starts Wednesday 13th June, 10pm on Channel 4.

True Love

Doctor Who co-stars are back on-screen together again as David Tennant and Billie Piper star in True Love. The part improvised drama follows the love lives of five people living in the same town. Dominic Savage, Jane Horrocks and David Morrissey also appear in the show.

The first episode follows Nick (Tennant) who is happily married with children, but begins to question everything when he bumps into his first love again. So you get the idea of the kind of stories this series will tell, but if you really want to avoid the football then it could be the show for you.

Starts Sunday 17th June, 10.25pm on BBC One.

The Apprentice reveals its winner

Twelve weeks of tasks, boardroom tantrums and rubbish business talk has led to the final of The Apprentice. The four who made it this far are: Jade, Nick, Tom and Ricky, and all that is between them and becoming Lord Sugar’s business partner is the gruelling interview stage.

Each have their own business plan and they want Lord Sugar to help fund their business venture. This, of course, means it should be an idea that Lord Sugar will actually like.

Nick wants to create some software that allows you to buy all the ingredients for recipes that you find on the internet with one click, Tom has a wine hedge fund plan, Jade wants to create a massive call centre and Ricky has a plan for his own recruitment agency. All a bit underwhelming.

Margaret Mountford returns for the interviews, alongside Claude Littner, Mike Soutar and Matthew Riley. Jade is immediately counted out of winning the competition as she intended to spend the entire £250,000 awarded from Lord Sugar in six months to cover the costs of the business, this didn’t go down well. On top of that her business plan, a giant call centre, is called unethical as nobody likes being disturbed by call centres trying to sell you stuff. There is further embarrassment as she tells Soutar that she has bought all the web addresses for her business. Turns out she hasn’t so Soutar bought one instead. Quite clearly Jade is out of the running.

The interviewing panel do not understand Nick’s idea which would allow people to buy recipe ingredients all at once from your supermarket of choice online. “Why would people buy things off the internet? Who plans their meals for the week?” ask the panel, which I think shows how far from reality business people actually are. So they resort to telling Nick he is odd because he grew up in Switzerland and didn’t watch television until he was 16.

Ricky gets a bit of a bashing in the interviews because in his application for The Apprentice he called Lord Sugar an old dog and said that he would be able to teach him new tricks. In his application he also referred to himself as the Thor of business. Soutar finally asks what everyone else has thought for the past 12 weeks — “Why do you call yourself Ricky Martin?” Turns out it is just to be remembered through association with the singer Ricky Martin. Luckily his business plan is impressive.

Tom’s wine hedge fund business idea is similar to what he already does now, which has made a healthy profit. The problem is the interviews make Tom look as though he is a bit of a daddy’s boy because he is in business with his father, who also wrote him a reference letter for his Apprentice application. Tom is also young, at 23, but Karren and Nick rush to say that shouldn’t count because you too were young businessman once, Lord Sugar.

Eventually the embarrassing interviews are over and Lord Sugar has to make a decision. Jade is out of the running first, Sugar does not want his name associated with a business that calls you up on a Sunday afternoon trying to sell you something. Nick is the next to go because Lord Sugar cannot see how he can make money out of his idea.

This just leaves Tom and Ricky to fight it out. Lord Sugar has to make a decision between the safe choice of Ricky’s business or Tom’s risky plan. And in the end Sugar chooses Ricky, after he promises that he will no longer talk like an idiot.

So that’s it for this year, if you want to relive the series then it is still all on iPlayer. But it is important to add that Lord Sugar isn’t bored or business yet as applications are now open for series nine.

The best and the worst of Eurovision 2012

Spain and Greece can breathe a sigh of relief as this year’s Eurovision song contest is over. There were some entertaining performances on the night in Baku, but sadly not from the UK as poor old Engelbert Humperdinck came away with only 12 points putting him second from last.

But now that the confetti has been swept up this gives us a chance to look at the winners from the night, as well as some of the more questionable performances.

The top five Eurovision song contest performances are:

1. Sweden

The Swedish version of Claudia Winkleman, actually called Loreen, had an angst ridden performance with dance moves reminiscent of Kate Bush. It became quite obvious once the results started coming in that she was going to win, and ended up collecting 372 points overall.

2. Russia

The Russian grannies singing about how their dog and cat made them happy should have won, but they came pretty close in second place. It seems Europe is not all that impressed with a revolving oven. Shame on them.

3. Serbia

Serbia’s entry from Zeljko Joksimovic was a bit boring, especially as they performed straight after Jedward but seemed to go done well with the public.

4. Azerbaijan

As host country Azerbaijan did well with Sabina Babayeva who did have a very pretty dress for her Eurovision performance.

5. Albania

I was surprised that Albania’s entry Rona Nishliu did so well, as I was mostly distracted by the fact that her hair was glued to her chest. The song wasn’t really that spectacular either, as ‘Suus’ mostly consisted of high, warbling screams.


And now moving swiftly onto the weirdest performances from Eurovision 2012.

Ireland

The Irish twins John and Edward ended up in 19th place with their song ‘Waterline’, which surprised me as I thought they would do really well this year. However, I don’t think their low position will upset Jedward too much and I bet will probably be back next year.

Romania

Mandinga seemed a bit confused as to what happens in Romania as they had someone who looks like Gok Wan moonwalking and playing the bagpipes, and that was just one band member.

Denmark

Solunua Somay looked a bit like an X Factor contestant that is trying too hard. Ironic really when her song was ’Should’ve Known Better’.

Lithuania

Lithuania’s entry Donny Montell took his song ‘Love is Blind’ too literally as he performed half of his song with a sparkly blindfold on.

Turkey

Can Bonomo looked a bit like they came from the imagination of Sacha Baron Cohen. They also had capes which they could have used in a menacing way, instead they used them to make a boat.


So until next year, that is Eurovision finished with, you can still catch the first and second semi finals on iPlayer, along with the grand final.

How to watch Eurovision 2012

The 57th annual Eurovision contest starts tonight in Baku, Azerbaijan and from the semi-finals earlier in the week we can already see the kind of quality performances we will have in store tonight.

It will be an odd show as a lot of countries taking part might not want the burden, and the cost, of hosting the Eurovision song contest, which is the prize if you win the contest. Even Spain’s entry, Pastora Soler, joked that she has been told not to win the contest. And it could be argued that Ireland are putting Jedward up again knowing that they will lose, but the Irish twins came eighth last year and I am hoping will do well again.

Britain has put forward the crooner Engelbert Humperdinck, and to support him you need to wear a paper bow tie and Humperdinck style sideburns from the BBC’s Eurovision party pack. You can also print of ‘Get behind the Hump’ and ‘Think Dinck’ posters to really get yourself in the mood.

There are a few performances to look out for, such as Jedward’s use of a water feature, the Russian grannies and there are some ‘serious’ contenders from Romania and Sweden. You can check out all of tonight’s competitors on Eurovision’s Youtube channel or wait until you can join Graham Norton and his Eurovision commentary on BBC One from 8pm.

If you want something a bit different then Dimblebot who helped to make the local election results interesting has allowed Woganbot out of the cupboard. Woganbot is here to “protect any ladies from swooning from the ‘Humperdinck lunge’” and you can follow his commentary on Twitter. If you are watching Eurovision alone and want some company then watch and take part in Tim, Matt and Tom’s Eurovision Hangout which starts at 7.30pm. Also if you want to score the entry’s yourself based on the rules of Robot Wars, giving people marks for style, control, aggression and damage, then Jonathan Cresswell has created a score card for just that.

If you want to avoid Eurovision altogether then have a look at our Eurovision free what to watch guide.

Call the Midwife, Homeland and Rob Brydon all set to return

Can’t see anything you like on the television at the moment? Then have no fear as TV Talk looks at the shows that have been recommissioned and ones that we are looking forward to seeing.

The Rob Brydon Show

Rob Brydon’s take on a chat show will be back over the summer on BBC Two, as another six episodes have been commissioned. The programme is a mix of celebrity chat, comedy and music, and Brydon says that some great guests are already lined up.

It is not the only comedy show returning, as Sarah Millican’s Television Show has also been given another series.

Homeland

The hit US show may have only just finished but Channel 4 have already confirmed that they will be showing the second series. The continuity announcer said that Channel 4 have signed the rights as the credits were rolling on the final episode.

The Golden Globe award winning show starred Britain’s very own Damian Lewis, who impressed Emma with his realistic American accent.

While waiting for the show to come back to UK televisions, you can pre-order the DVD from Amazon.

Doctor Who

The BBC still has not confirmed a date for the return of Doctor Who this year, but Digital Spy says the new series will be premiered at the 2012 Edinburgh Television Festival in late August. The same happened with the last series of Doctor Who, which was then aired on television soon after.

It has already been revealed that Amy and Rory will be leaving part way through series seven, and a new companion played by Jenna-Louise Coleman will be introduced in the Christmas special.

Call The Midwife

Talking about Christmas (yes, I know it is only May) The BBC has announced that Call the Midwife will return earlier than expected with a Christmas special. The series has also seen recognition for actress and comedian Miranda Hart, who has been nominated for a Bafta in the supporting actress category.

The Christmas special will see Miranda Hart return alongside Jenny Agutter and Pam Ferris, but full plot details are not yet known. In the meantime you can buy the first series on DVD from Amazon.

Smelling the success on The Apprentice

The budget was quite clearly blown on The Apprentice this week, as the contestants were given a van and £150 and told to make as much cash from selling cheap tat.

If you just want to know who was fired this week then click below, otherwise we’ll get on to ridiculing the contestants.

Show spoiler »

 Azhar Siddique is the latest casualty after getting on the wrong end of Alan Sugar’s finger.


It is a bit of a lazy day in The Apprentice household, as Lord Sugar calls them at 5pm to tell them to get over to wholesale warehouse in Essex. They meet Lord Sugar in a darkened car park, where he explains that each team has £150 to buy products to sell to the people of Essex, whilst keeping tabs on what is selling and when to get more stock.

Lord Sugar plays around with the teams a bit, bringing Stephen to Sterling and Laura over to Phoenix. He also points out that some people still haven’t been project manager, and hints that this might be the week they give it a go.

Jade, from Phoenix, gets the hint and decides to be project manager. However, Ricky Martin over on Sterling sees a chance to be a bit of a suck up and puts himself up to be project manager even though he has no background but it is what Lord Sugar would have done. Ricky seems quite miffed when Nick puts himself forward and the team go with him instead.

Sterling choose the best places in Essex to set up a stall and start browsing the shelves to see what tat they could sell there. They seem keen on beard trimmers, fake tan and nail kits. Meanwhile Phoenix aren’t off to the best start; they are taking a long time to choose a place to set up a market and manage to find vibrating toys in the warehouse. They also find the fake tan, as well as hot water bottles and little plastic insects.

While Sterling seem to have a plan and are thinking about what is best to sell at their different locations, Phoenix have bought a variety of things and don’t really know what to do with them. Azhar starts to mention that they should have a strategy, but gets ignored. He seems a bit miffed.

The next morning, as preparation for dealing with customers in Essex, Stephen and Ricky try out their best TOWIE impersonations.

The teams set up and start to awkwardly interact with the public. Ricky and Stephen create an odd script for their products to bring in the customers and Nick offers free haircuts for life with a hair trimmer. The most popular product for Sterling is the tan, rather surprisingly. Jenna, in an attempt to sell the beard trimmers, ends up talking to a beardless man who seems to think the only person he knows with a beard is himself. Team Phoenix are having problems with selling their odd mixture of items, yet Adam is doing well on the market and shockingly getting people interested in their tat.

Coming up to lunchtime the teams are running out of stock and plan another trip to the warehouse. As Jade and Adam set off to buy more products Azhar calls again wanting to know more about the team’s strategy. Jade gets annoyed and ignores him again.

Once the stock has been replenished, each teams have their own squabbles, they try to make good use of the rest of the day. They attempt to sell as much as possible before the end of the day and do their best to impress Lord Sugar.

And so we come to boardroom time. Nick explains Sterling’s approach to the task with their Essex kit, Lord Sugar looks horrified as to what they think Essex is all about. Overall Nick is seen as a good project manager, although Alan Sugar says it is “shameful” that they had a period with no stock. Over on team Phoenix Jade is immediately criticised for taking a long time to choose where to go, but she loved the effort of her team and has no complaints about them. Azhar says there was a lack of strategy, and somehow this is the first time Jade seems to have heard about this.

Both teams seem to think they have done well, but based on the figures Phoenix assets comes to £838 and Sterling’s assets are worth £955. Nick and the rest of the team get a night of cocktails as a reward, and Phoenix get to visit Bridge Cafe again.

Jade says that everyone did well, and as they lost the task with her as project manager then she should be the one going home. Surprisingly she does not say this in the boardroom. Instead she goes for Azhar and flounders when having to pick someone else to get the wrath of Sugar. In a panic she brings Tom back with her. As he was one of the best on the project this decision annoys Lord Sugar.

On paper it looks certain that Jade is going; she was in charge of losing the task and she panics. However, Azhar keeps mentioning strategy and wasting time so Lord Sugar decides to fire him. Yet again another silly decision made, I think. We are now down to the final nine, and hopefully some of the candidates who should have gone earlier in the series will be given the boot soon.

Next week the candidates will be turning their hand to modern art, which I am guessing will go very well. Before then you can catchup with the rest of the series of The Apprentice so far on iPlayer.

The Voice goes live: week one

The contestants have been whittled down, a massive studio has been built and presenters Reggie Yates and Holly Willoughby have spoken more than a sentence already — this means The Voice is now live.

Here at TV Talk we weren’t that impressed with the auditions stage as for a show about the voice we were hoping for some hideous looking people who were exceptionally talented. Instead it was just normal looking people, and in fact most have ordinary voices.

Once each coach had 10 people in their team, meaning there was a whooping 40 voices taking part, the show moved into a battle situation. Each team paired up people in their groups who they thought sounded most alike and made them battle for their part in the show with their voice. Essentially it was one weekend of shows to halve the number of contestants. It was a bit dull, and a bit shouty.

So coming through to the live shows there was still 20 contestants, and if they were to all perform in one evening that would take some serious commitment from everyone. Instead this weekend just saw Team Will and Team Tom take to the stage.

To find out who was eliminated this week click below.

Show spoiler »

The first live show saw Sam Buttery from Team Tom and Sophie from Team Will eliminated.


One of the problems I have with the show, because there have been so many people on stage there are only a few people that I actually remember. It doesn’t help that because this show is about the voice (in case you had forgotten) they don’t have an emotional back story, or personality to remember them by. So each week I have to try and remember who they are, until they sing and I realise I don’t actually much like their voice and forget about them until they are on screen again.

The show starts with the coaches singing a U2 song together. They are all trying a bit too hard, sounds like they are all singing a different song, and Danny is still amazed as to why he is singing with Tom Jones.

The rest of the show alternates between contestants from Team Will and Team Tom. The first contestant up to perform is Joelle Moses who sang a Mary J Blige song, and was quite good. Team Tom’s first live offering was Sam Buttery, the larger, camp man with lovely coiffured hair. He sang ‘A Little Respect’ by Erasure, and it wasn’t that great to be honest. However, he was only criticised for was having backing dancers as they distracted from him.

Back to Team Will with Frances Wood. She has buff men on the stage whilst she sings, but this isn’t called a distraction. She also managed to tan herself so much she made herself look yellow. All these comments are distracting from the fact that I can’t remember what she sang, or what she sounded like.

Tom Jones’ next contestant is Adam Isaac who had been given a Foo Fighters song to sing, but is struggling with it. However, they show him in rehearsals picking up a guitar and this helped him to sing the song. When he performs the song live he is actually quite screechy, but according to the coaches this doesn’t matter because it is a rock song. He’s told to move around the stage more, but this is obviously dangerous as Adam fell off the stage earlier in attempt to do this.

There are already some clear favourites and this is the case for will.i.am’s next artist Jaz Ellington. Not only does he have quite a cool name, but he can also sing very nicely and it is with these skills he could go far in this competition.

The last batch of performers include Leanne Mitchell, who I don’t really remember except that she looked a bit like The Apprentice’s Karren Brady. At 17-years-old Sophie Griffin is the youngest in the competition, and seems to do no wrong as the judges all wish they were as talented as her when they were her age. Team Tom’s Matt and Sueleen are the only duo left in the competition. They are a couple and do that annoying thing of pretend hatred in the relationship. And Tyler James, the hipster version of Jedward, who knew Amy Winehouse.

And finally Ruth Brown who has an ability to belt out songs, even though she has never had proper singing lessons. She is sweet and the only one I really like, but each week they dress her up as if she is a toddler. But it is about the voice and her performance has left the judges in floods of tears.

The live show was fun, best stage of the show so far, but long. The BBC have taken the same approach to The Voice as they do with Strictly Come Dancing, Holly Willoughby presents most of it, like Bruce Forsyth, and then cuts to Reggie Yates backstage, like Tess Daly. Even announcing the results on Sundays as a prerecorded show, like they do with Strictly.

The thing is the show seems to think that voting is dirty, no big thing was made about the phone lines being open and voting time is only half an hour. The judges also seem to think that criticism is a bad thing, making it all nicey nice and means no one really learns anything.

Next week Team Jessie and Team Danny are performing, so we can cut down on more people before another change to the format of the show. In the meantime you can catch up with the series so far on iPlayer.

The awards show with a difference

Matt Lucas was proud to announce his own awards ceremony, with the tagline “gives the awards that other awards shows don’t”. No longer are awards given for ‘Best actress’ or ‘Best film’, because no one really cares about that.

Instead plaudits are given to ‘Smugest nation of people’ or ‘dreadfulest football song ever sung’. On top of that the night isn’t a glamorous affair; in fact, it takes place in Lucas’ flat with his real Mum pottering around in the kitchen.

Each of the three panelists, usually they are comedians but sometimes just a well-known personality, put forward their nominations for the award category for Lucas to choose the most deserving winner. Their prize plays homage to the Oscars, except the statue is based on Lucas.

Matt Lucas has been handing out awards for ignored areas for a while as the show’s life began back on Radio 2 and a TV pilot was made last year. In the pilot they created a fake awards ceremony stage, the audience sat at tables and Lucas wore a black suit with bow tie. But significant changes have been made since then. The people behind the show said it felt like creating a glitzy stage was too much of an obvious thing to do. Now it is a much more relaxed affair as guests sit on Lucas’ sofa, whilst flatmates carry on around them somewhat oblivious to the show happening. For me, this makes the show feel like they are playing odd dinner party games mixed with a mellow version of Shooting Stars.

Matt Lucas and his award.

As a result of too much attention being paid to the dressing of the set, they seem to have missed the fact that there isn’t enough comedy. It all feels a bit forced; these people just happen to be in Lucas’ flat to be funny, the celebrities knew that they had to come up with some nominations and, although Lucas’ Mum is lovely, it’s quite clear none of them live like this.

The most enjoyable part of the show is Lucas, who is the most enthusiastic part of the show. He brings to the programme his sense of humour, as well as singing songs reminiscent of his time as George Dawes. The premise is there, the enthusiasm is there; they just need to stop worrying about the relatively small things and inject more humour into the show.

The Matt Lucas Awards Show is on Tuesday, 10.35pm on BBC One, or catchup on iPlayer.