Olympic gold TV

I’m not sure quite what this post is for. Mostly it’s just an excuse for why TV Talk’s been so quiet lately as well as a little bit of a celebration for our brilliant athletes. Because it must be said we’ve been somewhat distracted these last few weeks by the London 2012 Olympics.

As I write this, Great Britain are a comfortable third on the medal table with 22 gold medals, 13 silver and 13 bronze trailing only the US and China. It’s an outstanding achievement by Team GB and has made for some thoroughly addictive TV. Highlights include Andy Murray’s epic win against Federer to bring home tennis gold, Jessica Ennis’ heptathlon victory, Mo Farah’s 10,000m win (bizarrely he found this more satisfying than beating the Cube) and Bradley Wiggins’ cycling glory.

Andy Murray celebrates Olympic gold

Even for less avid sports fans The Games have provided drama aplenty, suspense, inspiration, thrills and surprises. There has been tears and laugher as amazing real life characters experience joy and disappointment. Who needs a drama or a soap opera when you have it all right here in London?

So forgive us for scarcely watching, reading or talking about anything else for the last week – and I wouldn’t expect things to change too much until the Olympics move on to Rio!

But anyone not swept away by The Games might like to take a look at about the only three other things I’ve managed to watch and enjoy recently. When this distraction of Olympic proportions is over I’ll write about spoof detective drama Vexed, Gypsy Wedding spin-off Thelma’s Gypsy Girls and documentary-with-a-twist Undercover Boss properly but why don’t you get up to speed in the meantime?

Twenty Twelve: Don’t let the Games kill the comedy

The Olympic Opening Ceremony in all its farmyard-y glory will be beamed across the world tomorrow night. It’s a very exciting time, tempered only by the fact that the long-awaited arrival of the Games also spells the end for exceptional BBC mockumentary Twenty Twelve.

Tuesday’s finale saw Ian Fletcher and his Deliverance Committee handing over the Games to the Live Team, their job done. In fact, this last episode fell a little flat, failing to top the hilarious mishaps of the previous two weeks, which included Ian getting shot by a tampered-with starting pistol, Perfect Curve’s rubbish new campaign to get people excited about women’s football and the disastrous oak tree planting stunt.

Ian Fletcher and the Deliverance Committee

Despite this there were still some very funny moments, especially surrounding The Big Bong plans and Perfect Curve’s lame attempts to acquire Sting to front it, but ending up with Aled Jones. The ending of the ‘will they, won’t they?’ storyline between Ian and PA Sally was immensely frustrating (loud yells of ‘what did he SAY?!’ echoed round our house) but memorable…and does this mean they are leaving the door open to show what happens next with the pair? I hope so!

In fact, personally I don’t think the Olympics need herald the end for this intelligent comedy. If I was the BBC (I’m not but I ought to be) I would already be planning a third series showing the outcome of the Games and the Deliverance Committee’s work, featuring all kinds of hilarious cock-ups with Ian, Siobhan Sharpe and co being hauled back to sort things out. Things like the wrong Korean flag being shown during the women’s football match causing the team to walk off in disgust. Oh wait, that was real…

There’s definitely a lot of mileage left in these brilliant characters. As well as the Games and the aftermath, we could see a lot more of Ian and Sally- a one-off special to show their trip to Umbria would be great, mostly just to see if she can last the length of time it takes to eat a tiramisu without saying ‘not a problem’.

Alternatively they could easily do a spin-off about life in the Perfect Curve offices headed by (the scarily accurate PR) Siobhan Sharpe. A firm like Perfect Curve would be involved in all sorts of interesting (and potentially funny) events and campaigns, providing storylines galore.

Of course any follow up series, or spin-off would have to be voiced by the fantastic David Tennant, who has provided the voiceover for all of Twenty Twelve so far. His perfect dead-pan delivery of a fabulously tongue in cheek script makes for a lot of laughs, if you listen carefully. You could be forgiven for at first thinking it’s a genuine documentary until you hear Tennant’s dulcet tones saying things like ‘rock legend, Aled Jones’ and ‘Mr X- a prolific composer in his own head,’ and you realise it’s not serious.

I’m responding to the sad end of Twenty Twelve by buying the boxset and reliving the magic right from episode one as a comedic accompaniment to the Games themselves. If you want to catch up, take a look at BBC iPlayer.

 

 

The Power of the Pointless

Virtually every week without fail it trends worldwide on Twitter: #PointlessCelebrities, with suggestions including Kim Kardashian, Frankie Cocozza, Cher Lloyd and a million others.

Unfortunately the people posting this have jumped on the Twitter band-wagon failing to recognise the reference to hit BBC1 show Pointless (the celebrity version). Still though, it shows the wide-ranging power and appeal of the Beeb’s most successful quiz.

Alexander Armstrong and Pointless friend, Richard

It’s quite remarkable the impact a simple teatime quiz show has had. It seems to have universal appeal to students, pensioners and everyone in between, having usurped Countdown as the nation’s favourite. But what is so special about Pointless?

Well, for starters, it’s refreshingly different. It’s like an educated version of Family Fortunes that someone has turned on its head, the aim being to get as few points as possible by thinking of answers that 100 people wouldn’t have said. And in fact, this is generally harder than it sounds.

The rounds themselves are endearingly specific, for instance ‘Name a foreign contestant who has competed in Series 1-8 of Strictly Come Dancing’. This usually results in a panic on the faces of around half the contestants, whilst one or two are able to smugly revel in their piles of Strictly annuals at home. And the same goes for any topic. In normal life your extensive knowledge of the suspension bridges of Britain or the hits of Meatloaf released between 1980 and 1986 may not be a particular advantage, but in Pointless this is your moment to shine.

Importantly though, if you don’t know an answer you are not made to feel small and stupid. It’s all kept light-hearted and friendly, fronted by the affable Alexander Armstrong, who, despite his own enormous intellect is very sympathetic and consoling when contestants get questions wrong. In fact joining the Two Hundred Club (two answers wrong consecutively) is regarded as quite an achievement.

It’s also pretty funny, especially the banter between Armstrong and his ‘Pointless Friend’ (and quiz master) Richard, a bespectacled and insanely tall* brainbox with a fantastically dry wit.

Now, inevitably, as with any show that proves itself popular, we have celebrity Pointless. It’s a humorous (and typically Pointless) twist that it has been entitled Pointless Celebrities. It’s a testament to the success of the show that they gave the celeb version a Saturday teatime slot and that it has recently trounced other programmes, most notably ITV’s first new episode of Primeval.

Sadly there’s no Pointless this week because of the Wimbledon coverage but avoid withdrawal symptoms by re-visiting it on BBC iPlayer

*Oh and just so you know – 6ft 7″ Richard’s height- while we’re on the subject of pointless facts.

 

Alistair McGowan’s back: You cannot be serious!

Eight years after his Big Impression, Alistair McGowan’s back on primetime with his own show, this time for ITV. You cannot be serious! is his latest offering and is a satirical look at all things sporty.

Alistair McGowan

I was pleasantly surprised. As a stereotypical girl (I watch tennis and gymnastics and that’s it!) I could have been put off by the fact that it was all about sport. The advert hadn’t made this clear at all, featuring as it did, Louie Spence and Robbie Savage talking about dance. I tuned in expecting a more general impressions show but despite this, as an opening episode I was pretty impressed.

For starters it’s very Harry Hill-esque. Turns out he’s the executive producer, so that could be why, but he’s certainly made his mark. Instead of being a re-hash of Big Impression Alistair sits behind a desk and pokes fun at a whole series of clips. Sound familiar? It’s like a mash-up of Harry Hill, Big Impression, with just a little bit of Mock the Week thrown in – the round where Hugh Dennis gets some silent footage and has to make up what’s being said.

Yes it’s about sport but you don’t need to be a big sport’s fan to find it amusing, perhaps it’s better if you’re not. After all, it’s not very realistic – Jedward covering the French Open, Louie Spence training footballers and presenters reading lads’ mags whilst commentating (ok so the last one is believable) – but it is funny.

It’s not the sophisticated satire of Rory Bremner but it’s a light and fun show, probably on a par with Harry Hill and his ‘chippy chippppss!’ but with fewer visual gags and more daft wordplay instead. And so far, the impressions have been good.

I think it will improve as the weeks go on and they develop some running jokes á la Harry Hill. All they need now is: ‘I like Manchester United but then I like Manchester City. But which is best? There’s only one way to find out…!’

Yes. That’d end well.

 

Inside Men robbed of a good ending

What a let down this turned out to be! With the plans for the big robbery getting grander and more complicated by the week and the characters struggling to keep it all together, the final installment of this 4 part BBC One drama promised an explosive ending.

Unfortunately when it came to it, we got drama and chaos aplenty- people screaming, men in masks and sirens blaring- but not a lot of sense. In my house we were left unsure as to quite what even happened. Maybe we’re just stupid but it certainly was confusing.

From left: Warren Brown as Marcus, Steven Mackintosh as John and Ashley Walters as Chris

The whole thing was constantly jumping backwards and forwards between events and it appeared that after nearly shooting dead one of his own gang, the boss, John, and his ‘inside men’ (including security guard Chris- the one who was shot) miraculously got away with their £25million and were friends again. John’s marriage to Ruth from Spooks was suddenly fine and rosy again and he was boldly but cryptically claiming in a self-satisfied voice that he wasn’t ‘scared any more’.

This was followed very shortly after by him driving back to the work place he stole the money from, seemingly with the stash in the back of a camper van he had randomly got hold of. Was he going to turn himself in and if so why? Was he going to give the money back? Was he planning to tell on his accomplices? Well we’ll never know because that’s where the story ended.

It was extremely unsatisfying, especially as it had had a lot going for it up until the end. There were flaws certainly. The character of John was somewhat unbelievable, changing almost instantly from the self-effacing and kindly boss and family man he had been for eight years, the minute there was the lure of money into a cold, psychopathic criminal who would gladly shoot a friend if it meant getting his cut. Even if we believed this alarming personality change, he then seemed able to switch his nice-man act on and off at will, knowing exactly how to play people at every turn. It’s hard to believe that a man so consistently lovely for at least the eight years he worked there, could suddenly do this without practise. But this robbery was meant to be a spur of the moment decision- it wasn’t something he’d been slyly planning the whole time. It doesn’t quite add up.

But still, the acting and the camera work was good. The development of the other characters was building nicely, becoming almost like a psychological study, showing their creeping paranoia towards one another and their struggle to cope with the temptation of their possible prize weighed up against not wanting to hurt the people they love. It was also interesting to see how the opening scenes of John’s wife being kidnapped and Chris being shot, were not quite what they first seemed. The first three episodes were positively masterful.

This drama had such potential. But sadly lots of shouting, running, jump cuts and fake blood can’t cover up a lazy script at the final hurdle. Viewers really were robbed of a satisfactory ending here.

Where has all the good TV gone?

I was starting to feel a bit guilty about not having posted here in a while but then it occurred to me, what has there actually been to write about?

TV has definitely gone off the boil recently and it’s not doing anything to help the January blues. Perhaps it’s understandable that they can’t keep up the pace of Christmas but every evening we seem to find ourselves saying ‘there’s absolutely nothing on TV tonight’ in our house.

This comes after the disappointing news that BBC3 comedy Mongrels has not been recommissioned, and even worse it has been suggested by one of its stars that comedy hit Outnumbered may not be returning for a fifth series, for fear that the children have got too old.

The Outnumbered kids are growing up fast

Don’t get me wrong. There have been a few things on. The three-parter Lynda la Plante drama, Above Suspicion on ITV was good and the new Room 101 is amusing and followed shortly by Live at the Apollo, making BBC1 comedy central on a Friday. Location, Location, Location is currently running on Channel 4 and is a tried and tested hit for all lovers of property and the banter between Phil and Kirstie.

I was pleased to find ITV4 has just begun repeating series 1 of Doc Martin, as I missed it first time round but still, we really shouldn’t have to rely on repeats to find anything worth watching.

Dancing on Ice is soldiering on on ITV as it always does, the poor-man’s Strictly but on a slippery surface, never quite igniting until…well, ever. I watch it if I’m not doing anything else but never find myself really caring or being bothered to actually see the results show.  MasterChef  is an entertaining show but was much better in its old teatime slot. At 9pm we want a nice meaty drama, or a good comedy to have a real laugh. As for the BBC’s Saturday evening offering, The Magicians, what a disappointment that has been! The tricks just aren’t that impressive (some of them have been good admittedly, but not enough of them) and not a patch on last year’s Penn and Teller.

Come on TV 2012. Get it together!

End the year on a TV high

If like me you can’t stand the idea of spending New Year’s Eve in a packed pub full of drunken strangers or at a big party packed full of drunken strangers (cause let’s face it, you usually get there and find you only know the host and they’re off their face as well), why not just stay home?  A few close friends or family, tasty drinks and nibbles and some good TV is all you need for a special evening. After all, Staying In is the new Going Out.

Charlotte and I have been looking ahead at what televisual treats New Year’s Eve has to offer. Here’s what we’ll be watching tomorrow night:

Emma

 4:30pm – 6:30pm  Come Dine with Me, Channel 4

I’ll be having a CDWM marathon to watch while I prepare the snacks, to give me extra ideas of what to make and get me into the party mood.

 6:30pm – 7pm  TV Burp, ITV

This is the festive edition from Christmas Day, a compilation of Christmas clips and best bits. If like me, you missed it this is the perfect opportunity to catch up. Harry Hill never disappoints.

7:10pm – 9pm Porridge (FILM), Channel 4

It only gets two stars so it might be a load of rubbish but for fans of the sitcom starring the hilarious Ronnie Barker it’s something you’ve got to at least watch once. So I am.

9pm – 11:35pm Alan Carr’s New Year Specstacular ,Channel 4 

I can’t get enough of this man.  And this sounds especially fun being a selection of chat, sketches, games, parodies and music all fronted by Specsy Beast, Alan. Guests include Jonathan Ross, Micky Flanagan, Gok Wan, Olly Murs, Bruno Tonioli and Alesha Dixon.

9pm – 10pm Brand New It’ll be alright on the night 2, ITV

This will be recorded in my house. If you’re not an Alan fan (I’ve heard some people aren’t- what’s wrong with you?!) then this is the perfect alternative if you fancy a laugh.

After all, presenters falling over, animals misbehaving and actors fluffing their lines never fails to raise a smile.

10pm (– 2:35am) QI, Dave

To bridge the gap between Alan Carr/ It’ll be Alright on the Night and my next choice without having to resort to the tedious Hootenanny, there is a handy QI marathon happening on Dave. They’re all repeats of course but always a treat to watch again. Just don’t get too engrossed and forget to raise a glass at midnight!

12:15am-1:15am Lee Mack Going Out Live, BBC 1

To end the night…morning…on a high switch to BBC1 for some more comedy firstly from Lee Mack giving us a sneaky peak of his stand-up tour when he performed at the Apollo.

1:15am- 2:15am Michael Mcintyre’s Comedy Road Show, BBC1

A repeat of the brilliant Christmas special. If you missed it, or like me just want an excuse to watch it again here is Michael in all his glory, joined by Rhod Gilbert, Sean Lock, Jack Dee, David Mitchell and new double-act Miranda Hart and “Smithy”. Very very funny stuff.

Charlotte

Emma has covered most of the bases but I would like to mention Jools Holland’s annual Hootenanny I think it is an enjoyable watch of artists you have never heard of and are unlikely to again. Also the awkward behaviour of a group of celebrities bringing in the New Year when in reality it is an afternoon at the beginning of December.

It is also always nice to bring in the incoming year to the chimes of Big Ben and watch the fireworks along the Thames. This year New Year Live 2011 is hosted by Jake Humphrey and starts on BBC1 at 11.50.

Then if you want a thorough review of the past year I say catch Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe on BBC iPlayer. If nothing it will make you thankful for a new year.

The Only Way is Essex? I disagree…

I had my very first brush with Essex yesterday. Not literally of course- I’ve been there a number of times. But never have I come across people quite like some of the characters encountered in the modern phenomenon that is The Only Way is Essex.

Until now I’ve managed to avoid TOWIE. Not actively but it just never seemed to be on when I was watching TV.

But after having seen the faces of the TOWIE gang all over the media recently I was interested to see what it was really like.

The first thing that struck me was that it was a bit weird. I had read an article previously explaining that it was ‘structured reality’, reinforced by Denise Van Outen reading a disclaimer at the beginning…very…slowly… to make sure we understood that certain events were manipulated for ‘our entertainment’. So basically, although it’s based on their real lives, a lot of it staged.

The result of this is something that feels like a soap opera with really bad actors. Many of them are inhibited and wooden in the presence of the cameras, with some very unnatural conversations taking place, in particular the talks between twins, Dino and Georgio about their plan for getting girls. Another highlight was Nanny Pat’s ‘surprised’ face and less-than-convincing ‘NO?!’ when she heard of Mark’s plan to stay celibate for two whole weeks.

Despite this there are some interesting characters and some of them are very likeable. The laddish, almost disturbingly close relationship between best mates Arg and Mark was funny, as was the dialogue between Kirk and Joey Essex.

Kirk seemed very patient with his friend as Joey made a series of pea-brain observations ‘omg, my brake lights are the same as yours! They’re red as well!’ and ‘Nah people called William aren’t called Bill. That’s people called Billiam,’ as well as asking ‘what’s horsepower?’ and replying ‘really?’ when Kirk joked there were tiny horses in his boot.

Actually, as much as his idiotic comments made me laugh, I did find it a bit worrying that anyone could be so ignorant.

The girls were less appealing. Lydia seemed sweet and was the only one who appeared to have a human face rather than a mask of makeup. The others had slathered it on with a trowel and were living, breathing stereotypes of The Essex Girl. They were pleasant enough but only really seemed to talk earnestly about relationships and in the irritating Gemma Collins’ case, weight-loss. Now Amy Childs has gone there wasn’t even mention of a vajazzle…which on balance I think I’m pleased about.

All in all, I found the programme puzzling. I didn’t not enjoy it, but I wouldn’t say I’d watch again. Not enough happens considering it’s manipulated to be more exciting, yet because it’s been messed with it seems very fake.

Having said that, I can see why it’s done well, as some of the people in it are quite engaging and likeable. They’re certainly better than the cold, Sloane-ish types appearing in Made in Chelsea, even if that lot are less orange.

They know there other ways ‘than Essex’, but maybe they’re less fun.

Loose Women are back…

Yay! The Loose women are back from their holidays and back on our screens. I’ve been looking forward to their return ever since they said goodbye for their one month sabbatical so I was ready at 12:30pm on Monday to welcome them back with open arms.

But it quickly became obvious something had changed. The theme music was different. And the logo. Not dramatically so but different nonetheless.

Then the set roved into view. I’d been wondering what colour it’d be this time, as they usually have a little change over the summer, most of the same décor in a new hue.

But this was more than a little change. In fact a terrible accident seemed to have befallen the set. Evidently during the break it had been stored unadvisedly close to a paint factory, which had suffered an explosion in the pastels section, irreversibly staining the Loose Women backdrop in wild blotches of pink, powder blue and lilac.

Someone has manfully tried to cover it all up with some white glass stuff cut into shapes they assume women will appreciate. Sadly it’s all too twee and stereotypical ‘girlie girl’- handbags, lipstick and butterfly patterns…excuse me… *mini-sick*. These aren’t things that represent our strong, opinionated, sophisticated Loose Ladies…are they?!

Carol, Lisa, Denise and Sherrie

Luckily the set isn’t the main draw and the Loose Women are still on form, albeit looking somewhat embarrassed at having to warn every guest to ‘mind themselves on the plexiglass’ as they come on, prompting John Barrowman to pretend he’d poked himself in the eye with the corner of a glass handbag.

The desk has also changed and is a peculiar shape, tapering at the front into a point which also looks a bit hazardous.

The whole programme has the impression of one which has been altered in tiny, fairly insignificant ways, just for the sake of changing it. It looks new but the content is identical. Different yet ultimately exactly the same.

Presumably these things are supposed to push up the viewing figures, which were said to be flagging last year. They go hand in hand with the sacking of poor Kate Thornton and Zoe Tyler and the introduction of Carol Vorderperson as the new anchor.

All the changes (including Carol V…although she’s not doing too badly to be fair) are irritating and pointless. For the real fans like me the silly set and loss of old presenters is a shame and spoils it just a little bit. As for anyone else they were hoping to attract, I doubt it will be different enough to tempt them if they weren’t keen before.

So all this effort has been a waste and jobs lost for nothing. Poor Kate Thornton.

Have a Doctor Wholiday

Holidaying in Britain can be great. There are loads of things to explore and discover from pretty seaside towns and beautiful beaches, to vibrant cities, historic monuments and breath-taking countryside.

It might not be exotic but staying in the UK really doesn’t need to equal boredom.  If you are getting tired of the good old British seaside and other normal activities however, why not try something a bit different and go touring locations from your favourite TV shows?

From personal experience, as a massive Doctor Who geek, I have visited a number of locations from my favourite DW episodes and it never stops being exciting!

Just check the locations guide online (see below), making sure your location is either in a public space like a street or a park, or a place that is open that day such as a stately home, ensure your camera battery is charged and off you go.

It can be strangely satisfying to recognise even small things from your favourite show and know you’re following in the footsteps of your favourite actors. Recreating pictures and scenes from the episode is particularly fun if you’re as sad as me!

Millennium Centre, Cardiff

For fellow Doctor Who-addicts a holiday to Wales is a real treat, as almost everything is filmed there these days. In Cardiff, for example, you can find locations all over the city from dozens of episodes. The Millennium Centre and the Tiger Bay area are instantly recognisable from Doctor Who and were also home to the Torchwood Hub in series 1-3.

In Cardiff you can see the department store used as Rose’s workplace Henricks in ‘Rose’, the restaurant where the ninth Doctor dined with the Margaret Blaine slitheen in ‘Boom Town,’ the house posing as Magpie Electricals in ‘The Idiot’s Lantern’, the hospital from ‘New Earth’, as well as literally hundreds of other locations.

Visiting Cardiff also has the added advantage of being able to go and see the excellent Doctor Who exhibition in The Red Dragon Centre comprising copious pieces of scenery, props, costumes and even things like actual daleks and ood masks.

Matt Smith's Doctor at the castle in 'Amy's Choice'

The other day I went to visit a little village called Skenfrith, Monomouthshire which is where the series 5 episode ‘Amy’s Choice’ was filmed. In one tiny settlement I was able to see the old people’s home, the castle where the children got turned to salt, the church that Amy and Rory sat in front of and other general backdrops that I recognised from the show. It was very exciting.

And it’s not only Wales that is home to these locations. London has featured quite heavily in a number of episodes, such as ‘Aliens of London’, ‘World War Three’ and ‘The Shakespeare Code’, which was filmed in the Globe Theatre.

To help start your search check out the excellent BBC Doctor Who locations guide. You can even find out if they’ve filmed an episode, old or new, near where you live!

http://www.doctorwholocations.net/