Olympic gold TV

I’m not sure quite what this post is for. Mostly it’s just an excuse for why TV Talk’s been so quiet lately as well as a little bit of a celebration for our brilliant athletes. Because it must be said we’ve been somewhat distracted these last few weeks by the London 2012 Olympics.

As I write this, Great Britain are a comfortable third on the medal table with 22 gold medals, 13 silver and 13 bronze trailing only the US and China. It’s an outstanding achievement by Team GB and has made for some thoroughly addictive TV. Highlights include Andy Murray’s epic win against Federer to bring home tennis gold, Jessica Ennis’ heptathlon victory, Mo Farah’s 10,000m win (bizarrely he found this more satisfying than beating the Cube) and Bradley Wiggins’ cycling glory.

Andy Murray celebrates Olympic gold

Even for less avid sports fans The Games have provided drama aplenty, suspense, inspiration, thrills and surprises. There has been tears and laugher as amazing real life characters experience joy and disappointment. Who needs a drama or a soap opera when you have it all right here in London?

So forgive us for scarcely watching, reading or talking about anything else for the last week – and I wouldn’t expect things to change too much until the Olympics move on to Rio!

But anyone not swept away by The Games might like to take a look at about the only three other things I’ve managed to watch and enjoy recently. When this distraction of Olympic proportions is over I’ll write about spoof detective drama Vexed, Gypsy Wedding spin-off Thelma’s Gypsy Girls and documentary-with-a-twist Undercover Boss properly but why don’t you get up to speed in the meantime?

Jubilations! Some good TV on the horizon?

As the country is swept up in Jubilee Fever it’s starting to feel like there’s not a lot on TV again, aside from Jubilee celebrations, sporting events, endless Olympic preparations and the same advert again and again for the millionth series of Big Brother (starting on Tuesday.)

It’s normal that the best TV winds down over the summer to give us time for holidays and BBQs without missing our favourite shows. Two such historic events as the Diamond Jubilee and the Olympics will only make this even more true in Summer 2012, but it’s nice to know there’s some light at the end of the TV tunnel.

So here are just a few recently-announced new series we have to look forward to:

Superstar, ITV1

After Holly Willoughby was poached by the Beeb, ITV have responded by stealing Andrew Lloyd Webber (a comparable pair in so many ways) complete with his latest search-for-a-leading-man/woman [delete as applicable] show Superstar. Soon we can expect live shows containing the melted-wellington-boot-faced Lord, flanked by comedienne Dawn French and Jason Donovan hoping to discover the Messiah. Or at least someone to play him in Jesus Christ Superstar.

Andrew Lloyd Webber, here presenting Over the Rainbow on BBC One, will move to ITV1 this year

Andrew Lloyd Webber has switched sides

My Fat, Mad, Teenage Diary, Channel 4

No, this isn’t the latest look-at-this-freak “documentary”. Adapted from a book based on the real diaries of Rae Earl, Channel 4 promises us ‘a warm, hilarious and honest’ new drama series, following the story of an overweight sixteen-year old girl growing up in mid-90s Lincolnshire.  It’s ‘a coming of age show about a fat, funny girl who – despite a bonkers mother and her own mental health issues – has a huge lust for life, love and Liam Gallagher.’

The Bletchley Circle, ITV1

This four-part WWII drama will star actresses Anna Maxwell Martin (Bleak House, South Ridings etc) and Julie Graham (Survivors) as two Bletchley Park code-breakers, plucked from their post-war lives to solve a murder. It’s billed as combining ‘a vivid portrait of postwar Britain with a taut and original thriller’.

The Voice KIDS??? BBC1

It’s hard to believe this will actually happen but The Voice‘s Dutch creator John de Mol is trying his best to pitch The Voice for 8-14 year olds to the Beeb. Apparently it’s been a massive hit in Holland and he thinks it’ll make up for disappointing ratings of the regular version here. It’s a fairly hideous thought though, Will.i.am telling a poor little 8-year-old ‘you were dope’. But these days, who knows? Watch this space!

TV highlights: Louis Walsh, Daleks, damp squids and royals doing weather reports

The past week in television has been reality programmes and a whole host of animals doing things live. In among all that you may have missed some of the highlights from the week. Not to worry though as we pick out the best bits of telly from this week.

Celebrity Deal or no Deal

Last weekend the celebrity versions of the game show saw music manager and TV judge Louis Walsh take on the boxes. So far Walsh has had the best people to open the boxes for him, varying from Kate Thornton, to Wagner and Jedward (they had two boxes between them). Also he quite genuinely wanted to do well for the charity, so Walsh is noticeably nervous throughout the show but he does well.

Even though Deal or No Deal can be a hard watch, I mean it is fronted by Noel Edmonds who keeps referring to the place as ‘the dream factory’, the celeb versions have brought new life to the format. In addition the pressure that the celebrities find themselves under when trying to do their best for a charity is unbelievable, and led to Jimmy Carr only winning £750 for charity, instead of the offered £14,000.

You can watch Louis Walsh’s Celebrity Deal or No Deal on 4OD.

Britain’s Got Talent

I have a confession; I have never watched Britain’s Got Talent. So the other night when left to my own devices and with full control over the television remote, I decided to catch a few moments of the show.

And what I saw was confusing. A grown man was wearing a suit, made to look like a Dalek from Doctor Who. He was also wearing a saucepan with sequins on. And then a range of colourful washing machines with baskets on top came on stage as well as Dalek back up.

The man’s talent was that he could do an impersonation of a Dalek, which wasn’t bad considering it was just his voice not put through any machines or software. But his performance led to the judges, Alesha Dixon and Amanda Holden, wearing saucepans on their heads.

You can watch this and the other high calibre contestants on ITV Player.

Damp squid

Nadine Dorres, a Conservative MP, took part in Have I Got News For You this week. Ian Hislop took his usual relish in poking fun at the politicians that come on the show, but Dorres embarrassed herself in a small way.

When talking about the Leveson Inquiry she called it a bit of a ‘damp squid’, when the phrase is actually damp squib.

This malapropism also forms part of the plot for an episode of The IT Crowd, where the characters discover they all know phrases that they have misremembered in some way.

You can watch Have I Got News For You on BBC iPlayer and The IT Crowd over on 4OD.

Prince Charles doing the weather

And finally Prince Charles and the Duchess of Cornwall dropped by BBC Scotland for a tour and ended up presenting the weather. I think Charles was quite good, and maybe presenting is something that the Royal family should start to consider in the future.

Elections extravaganza

Today marks the local and London Mayoral elections, and I am looking forward to watching hours of speculation, counting and talking. It is interesting to find out what the future holds for the politics of our country, but also hours of live television to fill during the middle of the night ends up creating some great awkward television.

So in celebration of this here is our selection of the best elections coverage moments so far.

The graphics

When Peter Snow retired his swingometer, journalist Jeremy Vine was there to take over the reins. Nowadays Vine has more graphics available to him than just a simple indicator of which party is winning. Back in 2007 Vine and co decided that the best way to cover the general election was to call the votes for the then Liberal Democrat leader, Ming Campbell, ‘Ming’s bling’. This was alongside a CG Ming Campbell who was attracting the younger voters by rapping and showing his moves.

Cowboys help to explain the election process too.

The dedication

The 2010 general election gave the UK a coalition government for the first time in decades. As a result there was many hours of coverage and David Dimbleby ended up hosting for 18 hours straight.

Dimbleby is hosting tonight, starting off at 10.35 with Question Time and then leading into the coverage of the local and London Mayoral elections. While you are getting the insights as to what has happened at the polls then enjoy an insight into Dimbleby by following Dimblebot on Twitter as he “destroys” the panel on Question Time and then more than likely the candidates standing for election too.

Boris Johnson

Johnson is hoping that he will get re-elected as the Mayor for London tonight. But back in 2010 he was questioned by Jeremy Paxman about the role of the Conservative party in the coalition government, where Johnson declared that the Tories needed to be the meat in the coalition sausage. To be honest this is behaviour expected of Johnson.

So settle in front of the television tonight and look out for the ridiculous moments that will happen when politicians and live television meet. Vote 2012 starts on BBC One at 11.35pm.

Bafta television nominations for 2012 announced

Appropriate Adult, ITV’s crime drama about the killer Fred West, leads the nominations at this year’s British Academy Television Awards.

The ITV drama has four nominations which are in the leading actor category for Dominic West, leading actress for Emily Watson, supporting actress for Monica Dolan as well as a nomination for mini series.

Sherlock, Twenty Twelve, Scott and Bailey and The Great British Bake Off are among other nominations that have been announced.

The awards will be presented at Royal Festival Hall on May 27th, by Dara O’Briain who is also a nominee for his performances on Mock the Week.

Below are the Bafta television nominations in full.



Leading actor
Benedict Cumberbatch – Sherlock
Dominic West – Appropriate Adult
John Simm – Exile
Joseph Gilgun – This is England ’88


Supporting actor
Andrew Scott – Sherlock
Joseph Mawle – Birdsong
Martin Freeman – Sherlock
Stephen Rea – The Shadowline

Male Performance in a comedy programme
Brendan O’Carroll – Mrs Brown’s Boys
Darren Boyd – Spy
Hugh Bonneville – Twenty Twelve
Tom Hollander – Rev.

Entertainment performance
Alan Carr – Alan Carr Chatty Man
Dara O’Briain – Mock the Week
Graham Norton – The Graham Norton Show
Harry Hill – Harry Hill’s TV Burp

Mini series
Appropriate Adult
The Crimson Petal and the White
This is England ’88
Top Boy

Soap and continuing drama
Coronation Street
Eastenders
Holby City
Shameless

Factual series
The Choir: Military Wives
Educating Essex
Our War
Protecting our children

Single documentary
9/11: The day that changed the world
The fight of their lives
Terry Pratchett: Choosing to die
We need to talk about Dad

Reality and constructed factual
An Idiot Abroad
Don’t Tell The Bride
Made in Chelsea
The Young Apprentice

News coverage
BBC News at Ten: Siege of Homs
Channel 4 News: Japan earthquake
ITV News at Ten: Battle of Misrata
Sky News: Libya rebel convoy

New media
Autumn Watch
The Bank Job
Misfits
Psychoville

Comedy programme
Charlie Brooker’s 2011 Wipe
Comic Strip: The Hunt for Tony Blair
The Cricklewood Greats
Stewart Lee’s Comedy Vehicle


Leading actress
Emily Watson – Appropriate Adult
Nadine Marshall – Random
Ramola Garai – The Crimson Petal
Vicky McClure – This is England ’88


Supporting actress
Anna Chancellor – The Hour
Maggie Smith – Downton Abbey
Miranda Hart – Call the Midwife
Monica Dolan – Appropriate Adult

Female performance in a comedy programme
Jennifer Saunders – Absolutely Fabulous
Olivia Colman – Twenty Twelve
Ruth Jones – Stella
Tamsin Greig – Friday Night Dinner

Single drama
Holy Flying Circus
Page Eight
Random
Stolen

Drama series
The Fades
Misfits
Scott and Bailey
Spooks

International
Borgen
The Killing
Modern Family
The Slap

Specialist factual
British Masters
Frozen Planet
Mummifying Alan
Wonders of the Universe

Feature
DIY SOS: The Big Build
Hairy Bikers’ Meals on Wheels
The Great British Bake Off
Timothy Spall: Somewhere at Sea

Current affairs
Bahrain: Shouting in the Dark
Sri Lanka’s Killing Fields
The Truth About Adoption
Undercover Care: The Abuse Exposed

Sport and live event
Frankenstein’s Wedding: Live in Leeds
The Royal Wedding
Rugby World Cup Final
Tour De France 2011

Entertainment programme
Celebrity Juice
Derren Brown: The Experiments
Harry Hill’s TV Burp
Michael McIntyre’ Christmas Comedy Roadshow

Situation comedy
Fresh Meat
Mrs Brown’s Boys
Friday Night Dinner
Rev.


What do you think about the nominations? Has your favourite programme been missed out, or are you happy that your favourite show has been given a Bafta television nomination? Let us know what you think.

There’s life after Tracy for the Dumping Ground

Loyal Tracy Beaker Returns fans watched the Series 3 finalé  with heavy hearts, knowing that this time we wouldn’t just have 9 months to wait for a visit to the Dumping Ground but that this was the end. There were tears (not just from me). Tracy said goodbye to Mike and walked out. It was all over. Forever.

That was until I read that just two days’ previously the BBC had quietly commissioned a brand new series, The Dumping Ground to be aired in 2013, with the same writers, same director, same Nick Sharratt animations and of course, the same Dumping Ground we know and love. Happy days.

The cast of Tracy Beaker Returns

Tracy and the current Dumping Ground kids

Admittedly there will be no Dani Harmer as Tracy. Aged 23 and having played our favourite heroine for over 10 years it’s not unreasonable that she wanted to move on and try something new. After her and Tyger’s near win on Let’s Dance for Sport Relief she’s starring as Dorothy in a touring production of the Wizard of Oz and says her dream role would be the Doctor’s Companion in Doctor Who. That would be a treat. I bet Tracy Beaker would give the Doctor a run for his money…

Anyway, back to the programme- we will undoubtedly miss Tracy but ever since she’s been a careworker, she’s been a bit more in the background and the new DG kids have usually been the focus of the stories. It makes sense that they could go on without her but still gives her the chance to cameo every now and then if she wants to. It’s win win.

The cast itself has yet to be confirmed, although it’s reported that the brilliant Gus, played by talented Noah Marullo and Carmen, Amy Leigh Hickman will be returning. Personally I have my fingers crossed that the DG will still be headed up by Mike and Gina and will keep on the current TBR kids as they are all well-rounded characters brought to life so accurately by the young actors, especially Tee and Elektra, two of my favourites.

Without a title character who could up and leave, I think The Dumping Ground is a series that could run and run with unlimited possibilities for storylines, new angles and new cast members. Roll on 2013!

 

Nightmare Nancy strictly deluded

The live shows of Strictly Come Dancing haven’t even begun but already gossip columns are fit to burst with rumours from the training rooms.

At the centre of most of the stories (which is exactly how she likes it) is Nancy Dell Olive Oil. This year’s prima donna, Nancy has reportedly already been making a nuisance of herself and rubbing fellow contestants up the wrong way.

She didn’t exactly ingratiate herself with viewers in the launch show either, modestly declaring herself to be ‘the second most famous Italian after Sophia Loren.’ Obviously Pavarotti, Marco Polo, Michelangelo, Leonardo (or in fact any of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) must have slipped her mind. She has since gone on to claim that she alone is ‘bigger than “The X Factor”’.

Not sure about her, but her ego perhaps, yes.

Luckily her dance partner, the brilliant Anton du Beke (who deserved SO much better this year – don’t even get me started…!) knows just how to handle her, taking everything she says and does with a pinch of salt and a good dose of humour.

Anton takes it on the chin...

He has apparently quipped of Nancy and his former partner Ann Widdecombe, “They are almost the same. I mean Nancy and Ann they are like peas in a pod and I can’t tell them apart, I make them wear badges. “ Naturally this has delighted fans, if not Nancy.

His teasing has not improved her behaviour however. Behind the scenes she has been apparently been making a series of diva-ish demands. Her requirements are said to include a massage after every performance, champagne in her dressing room and special stiletto dancing shoes instead of the ‘frumpy’ ballroom heels all the pro-girls and other celebs wear.

It is said that she rejected a taxi sent to pick her up by the BBC because it didn’t have blacked out windows, necessary for her privacy.

Her spoilt actions have not gone unnoticed by the other celebrities. Edwina Currie is said to be disgusted, although her antipathy for the deluded ex-wife of football manager, Sven Goran Eriksson was originally prompted by Nancy being overheard asking who Edwina was.

Since then something of a feud has developed between the pair with Edwina said to be jealous of Nancy’s costumes, feeling while Nancy’s are sexy and modern, hers are dull and mumsy.  Consequently she has asked for her hemlines to be raised and necklines to be more plunging. *Shudder*

It seems Nancy certainly has a lot to answer for…

Catch the live shows of Strictly starting next week, Friday 30th September and Saturday 1st October.

Loose Women are back…

Yay! The Loose women are back from their holidays and back on our screens. I’ve been looking forward to their return ever since they said goodbye for their one month sabbatical so I was ready at 12:30pm on Monday to welcome them back with open arms.

But it quickly became obvious something had changed. The theme music was different. And the logo. Not dramatically so but different nonetheless.

Then the set roved into view. I’d been wondering what colour it’d be this time, as they usually have a little change over the summer, most of the same décor in a new hue.

But this was more than a little change. In fact a terrible accident seemed to have befallen the set. Evidently during the break it had been stored unadvisedly close to a paint factory, which had suffered an explosion in the pastels section, irreversibly staining the Loose Women backdrop in wild blotches of pink, powder blue and lilac.

Someone has manfully tried to cover it all up with some white glass stuff cut into shapes they assume women will appreciate. Sadly it’s all too twee and stereotypical ‘girlie girl’- handbags, lipstick and butterfly patterns…excuse me… *mini-sick*. These aren’t things that represent our strong, opinionated, sophisticated Loose Ladies…are they?!

Carol, Lisa, Denise and Sherrie

Luckily the set isn’t the main draw and the Loose Women are still on form, albeit looking somewhat embarrassed at having to warn every guest to ‘mind themselves on the plexiglass’ as they come on, prompting John Barrowman to pretend he’d poked himself in the eye with the corner of a glass handbag.

The desk has also changed and is a peculiar shape, tapering at the front into a point which also looks a bit hazardous.

The whole programme has the impression of one which has been altered in tiny, fairly insignificant ways, just for the sake of changing it. It looks new but the content is identical. Different yet ultimately exactly the same.

Presumably these things are supposed to push up the viewing figures, which were said to be flagging last year. They go hand in hand with the sacking of poor Kate Thornton and Zoe Tyler and the introduction of Carol Vorderperson as the new anchor.

All the changes (including Carol V…although she’s not doing too badly to be fair) are irritating and pointless. For the real fans like me the silly set and loss of old presenters is a shame and spoils it just a little bit. As for anyone else they were hoping to attract, I doubt it will be different enough to tempt them if they weren’t keen before.

So all this effort has been a waste and jobs lost for nothing. Poor Kate Thornton.

Loose Women: Give them a break (but not a holiday)

Summer is upon us, bringing with it holidays, ice creams, the seaside and even the occasional day of sunshine. But there is one thing which casts a shadow over this happy time; that creates a void in our lives; that leaves lunchtimes lonely and directionless.

Yes people, the Loose Women summer break is a difficult time for all of us.  Or maybe that’s just me.

Loose Women is an excellent show, bringing laughter to our lunchtimes. The ladies are like our friends and I do genuinely (just a little bit) miss hearing their funny anecdotes and outrageous tales over the summer.

Worse still, are the replacement programmes ITV provides us with in place of Loose Women. What television treat do we have for us this year? Let’s Do Lunch with Gino and Mel.

This is a cookery show (how original) presented by Melanie Sykes where the cheeky Gino D’Acampo grills (get me and my culinary puns) a celebrity on their food likes and dislikes and then tries to rustle up a meal that they will love. Later the audience can also vote on a dish they’d like to see him make. So not remotely like Daily Cooks Challenge then? Hmmn…

But anyway, to get back to Loose women, I don’t begrudge these fine upstanding ladies their holidays, of course not, but between them- there are twelve regulars and hundreds of others for goodness’ sake…they could even wheel out the super-eager Lesley Garrett if absolutely necessary (!) – surely they could make a holiday rota or something?

Denise’s week in Ibiza can coincide with a stint by Lisa in the studio. Carol can live it up in Skegness while Lynda is working on the panel. Etc etc. It’s really not that difficult. Perhaps I should work on the production team.

The only problem would be the role of anchor, as they are on more regularly than the rest. But I’m sure it wouldn’t be that hard for the others, on a purely temporary basis. I bet even scatty Sherrie could read the autocue. Well perhaps that’s pushing it. But Carol could. Unless she’s been down the pub. Hmmn, perhaps it’s harder than I thought…

But while we’re on the subject of anchors and on a more serious note, I’ve been shocked at the treatment of poor Kate Thornton.

Fired because of recent bad ratings despite a full two years of good service and a TV Choice Award, Kate has ‘scapegoat’ written all over her.

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with her. On the contrary she has performed very well. I was dubious at first, finding her shouty on the X-Factor, but she proved me wrong, showing she was a quick-witted, intelligent and popular member of the team, as well as being a genuinely good interviewer due to her background in journalism.

After the humiliation of her sacking being all over the papers weeks in advance, Kate was given about 30 seconds at the end of the show to acknowledge her own departure, say goodbye and thank the viewers, no flowers, no leaving gifts, nothing.

This comes one week after Coleen Nolan’s leaving show (a real tear-jerker) where they devoted the whole to show to her, named a star after her, got two special guests in to make a fuss of her, allowed her to say her goodbyes and let her sing her own, special (not necessarily in a good way) farewell song.

Not that she didn’t deserve that after eleven years on the show but it just highlights the abysmal treatment of Kate.

My heart goes out to Zoe Tyler too, who also got the boot for no good reason. But she wasn’t on much anyway, as opposed to Kate who was on at least three days every week and even she got given a bouquet of flowers on her last show.

Maybe I should become offer my services to Loose Women. I could tackle all these issues.

I’d make sure every loose lady got treated properly and I’d eliminate unnecessary shows like Let’s Do Lunch with Gino and Mel by re-organising things to get rid of the distressing Loose Women sabbatical. What’s more I’d make sure Carol Vorderman never comes anywhere near that anchor chair. Ever. *shudder*

It’s strictly gossip…

Apart from my daily dose of Loose Women with the occasional Torchwood and Doctor Who shaped treat thrown in, since Kara Tointon and Artem Chigvintsev rumbaed (yes apparently rumba is a verb) their way to victory, my TV year has just been a matter of counting down the time till Strictly Come Dancing returns.

So, now that it officially starts next month (albeit the last day of the month) I can begin avidly writing about it, counting down, sharing rumours and generally gossiping all things Strictly without seeming like too much of a loser.

The dates of the first shows are now out, kicking off with two shows on consecutive days- 30th September and 1st October. Like last year the first show will reveal the pairings of contestants and pro-dancers (PLEASE GOD GIVE ANTON DU BEKE A DECENT PARTNER!!) and as it is pre-recorded on 7th September will also show how training has been going and relationships developing etc.

Bruce Forsyth and Tess DalyHopefully nearer the day we’ll have some better tips of celebs taking part but the rumour mill has been busy already.

Names being thrown around include ‘celeb’ astrologer Russell Grant (D, U double L!), Miriam O’Reilly of Countryfile ageism controversy, Fern Britton (so unfair, she’s already done a Christmas Special), Chris Tarrant (oh dear) and Alex Jones (what is it about her?).

Ok, so judging by that little lot Strictly is really scraping the barrel this year. But as every true Strictly fan knows it’s not the celebrities that are the stars.

The real stars are the pro-dancers and after a few ridiculous firings last year (Lilia, Darren, Ian and Matt) I’m relieved to find Anton, Erin, Brendan and all our favourites dancing back onto our screens this series. The only casualty has been Jared Murillo, one of last year’s newbies. He will be replaced by US dancer Pasha Kovalev, known for his role in So You Think You Can Dance USA.

A few days ago it was announced that the final will again take place in The Tower Ballroom, Blackpool, great news for us fans, as it’s such a beautiful room, glitzier even than the BBC set, if that’s possible.

Not only this, but it will also be broadcast in 3D. As someone with an ancient TV (complete with built-in video) this makes absolutely zero difference for me and I don’t care anyway. I get a good enough view of the dancing as it is.

But for those lucky enough to possess a 3D telly I’d sure it’ll be amazing, as the dancers (and Bruce’s chin) will be right in your living rooms with you. Ace.

Perhaps the most disappointing thing for the bona fide Strictly addict is the loss of Claudia Winkleman as the anchor of BBC2 spin-off show ‘It Takes Two’. Such a crackpot sense of humour, child-like enthusiasm for the dancing and the slapstick routines that result from a Len Goodman masterclass cannot be replicated.

Not even by ex-contestant, Zoe Ball who has been lined up to take Claudia’s place, while she disappears due to having a baby or something? Apparently that’s more important than Strictly. The words priorities and straight spring to mind…

Anyway, I suppose any gutted fan can be comforted by the joyous news that along with Craig, Bruno and Len, the ever-popular Alesha Dixon is definitely coming back. Every cloud, eh?